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The Civil Gentleman
Discussion on Ethics
Pledge Partners
Act of Peace
Alcohol Abuse

Discussion on Ethics and The Civil Gentleman

We welcome questions and comments related to The Civil Gentleman made by all interested visitors.  If you wish, your comments will be discussed on this web page simply by sending your message to info[AT]2givenow.org.  Your identity will be kept confidential, unless you specifically give us your permission to disclose your name.

Question on pledge # 17 regarding refraining from improper sexual contact with any child below the age of fifteen years.

  • Comment:  A lady expressed concern that the legal age for sexual consent in her state is above 15 years of age.  She suggested that the pledge should specify an age of at least 16 years for sexual contact.

  • Discussion:  We suggest that men should abide by the laws and taboos that apply to the state where the child (or woman) resides as the pledge indicates "...and to respect the laws and taboos of the society in which the child lives that are intended to protect children from harm."  This age may be higher or lower than fifteen years.  Look at fifteen years as a general round number benchmark under which the intelligent consent of a woman is in question.  Some women of older age also need to be protected as indicated in the pledge "...This restraint will also apply to older children or persons of limited mental faculties who may not understand the risks of sexual contact or relevant social implications."  Look up the legal age of consent for many countries and US states on the Avert.org website.

Punitive Measures Imposed on Registered Sex Offenders

  • California RSOL (Reform Sex Offender Laws - ACSOL) is featured in a new video released by Reason.TV.  The video is about 7 1/2 minutes long and focuses upon the state's life-time registry, including the recent attempt to create a tiered registry within California.

  • The video includes remarks from and footage of California RSOL - ACSOL organizer Janice Bellucci and State Assemblyman Tom Ammiano as well as an undisclosed California couple.  That couple is now married, however, the husband is a registrant convicted of statutory rape for having consensual sex with his then underage girlfriend.  The video can be found online at 

  • Reason.TV takes a balanced approach to the issue of registrants and questions the validity and efficacy of current "sex offender" laws. This video was created by Associate Producer Tracy Oppeheimer. Reason.TV is an integral part of the Reason Foundation.

    More news from Alliance for Constitutional Sex Offense Laws (ACSOL).

    Below is a link to a YouTube video which accurately and vividly portrays that almost ANYONE can be labeled a sex offender.  It also shows the devastating consequences of what happens to a person's life when that label is applied.  Every young man who dates younger teens needs to see this!

    Dr. Alissa R. Ackerman offers a new perspective on restorative justice and how it can help those who suffered from sexual assault. With her personal experience, she shares with everyone the true importance of engaging in difficult conversations to heal from intimate harm.

Questions on initial sentence and general implications that men cause more domestic violence than women.

  • Comment:  A man who identified himself as a member of the National Coalition Of Free Men expressed concern that by focusing on men's obligations to refrain from domestic violence, the implication is that men are the primary cause of this problem.  He suggested that equal time should be given to women's responsibilities, as well, and he provided a number of citations of studies that show that women initiate a significant number of cases of domestic violence.

  • Discussion:  We appreciate the citations of information that show that women often initiate domestic violence, and some of this information is included in the educational references listed below the pledges.  There's no doubt that each woman and each man is responsible for keeping the peace, as stated in the first paragraph "...Although both genders, individually and collectively, are equally responsible for civilizing society, especially in the modern era, this perspective is intended primarily for examination by men concerned about family, fairness and ethics."  We hope to inspire someone to create a concept for women that may provide a model of ethics that pertains to the problems of domestic violence and child abuse.  In the same paragraph we also note that "...For, even though much progress has been made, the echoes of women's suffrage, less than a century in passing, have not yet cleared the forests and valleys in all parts."  The bride burnings that still occur in India to this day are a nightmarish reality.  In Mexico, there are frequent murders of young ladies near the borders that go without prosecution.  Domestic violence against women in Saudi Arabia and other countries is a rampant tradition recently highlighted by news of the outrageous beating of TV presenter Rania Al-Baz who was brutally assaulted by her husband and dropped before a hospital for dead last year.   In the United States and many parts of the world, women are forced into prostitution in order to make a living, some of whom being treated like slaves.  In many of these cases, the men who perpetrate these abuses and crimes actually think it's morally acceptable to do so, or that somehow their victims deserve to be abused or killed.  We hope the model of the civil gentleman will challenge men in all parts of the world to think about the issues we address.  Although there are laws in most parts that forbid abusive behavior to some extent, the laws are not always reflected in the common culture.  Moreover, criminal and civil laws cannot and should not intrude into every intimate interaction between men, women and children.  For this reason, the individual responsibility of each man and woman is necessary to civilize social behavior in every part of the world.  We hope these words and the concept of the civil gentleman will inspire men in all parts of the world to refine their own consciences to a higher level of civility. 


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